Feedback is a strange act, judged for the correctness of the one who says it, yet valued by how the one told receives it. "A correct comment that does not reach" — a phenomenon every reviewer, teacher, and parent experiences. What this volume treats is the technique that closes that distance. The SBI model, Gordon's I-Message, Rosenberg's NVC, Kim Scott's Radical Candor, Coyle's magical feedback, Dweck's growth feedback, Shinran's "embracing and not abandoning" — seven traditions, in different words, point to the same place. Feedback can be designed as a skill.
01The Structure of "A Correct Comment That Does Not Reach"
One sends a correction request. A follow-up. A second follow-up. The moment of bewilderment, "why does it not get through?" — at that moment we are often looking only at the "correctness" of the content of our comment. But the unreached-ness of feedback is more often born of form than of content. The same content, said in different words, with different temperature, in a different framework, can reach.
What this volume treats is the design of that "different way of saying." Feedback is not sensitivity but a technique that can be designed consciously. What seasoned managers, educators, and outstanding coaches have implicitly acquired, psychology and organisational research have systematised. With them, both juniors and veterans can design feedback that reaches.
02The SBI Model — A Three-Layer Structure of Situation, Behavior, Impact
The U.S. Center for Creative Leadership (CCL), which systematised it in the 1990s, presents the SBI model — the most widely used framework as the basic structure of feedback.
Situation
Concretely indicate when, where, and in what context it occurred. "In yesterday's meeting." "In the revised version sent last week."
Behavior
Describe the action the other actually took as an observable fact. Do not mix in evaluation or interpretation. "The citation of clause X was missing." "The reply came three days later."
Impact
Convey the impact that action brought, as one's own subjective experience. "I required time for verification." "A re-inquiry became necessary."
"Most of feedback's unreached-ness arises from ambiguity of situation, confusion of behaviour and evaluation, and absence of impact. Merely being conscious of distinguishing the three SBI layers changes the other's reception dramatically." — paraphrase of the CCL "SBI Feedback Model"
On the pharmaceutical floor, the feedback "your comments are sloppy" lacks all of SBI. "In last week's vol-05 correction request (S), because the basis clause was not cited (B), a re-inquiry came from the recipient (I)" — broken down into SBI, the same content turns into a structure easier to receive.
03Gordon's "I-Message" — Start Not from "You" but from "I"
The American clinical psychologist Thomas Gordon (1918–2002), in Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.) (1970), presented a small technique that dramatically changes communication. The I-Message.
"'You are doing this (You-Message)' becomes a structure that accuses the other. 'I feel this (I-Message)' becomes a structure that conveys one's own sense. The former draws out defence; the latter opens dialogue." — paraphrase of Thomas Gordon, Parent Effectiveness Training (1970)
"You are always sloppy."
Subject is "you." A structure that evaluates the other's character. The other enters defence.
"I was perplexed by this revised version."
Subject is "I." A structure that states one's own sense. The other can enter the mode of observing the fact.
The I-Message is not a technique for evading responsibility. It is a technique that, by starting from one's own experience rather than the other's character, makes room for the other to calmly receive the fact. On the pharmaceutical floor, merely changing "this is an inappropriate comment" to "I felt the possibility of misunderstanding in this description" lowers the recipient's defence.
04Applying Rosenberg's NVC to Feedback
Touched on also in Vols. 1 and 7, Marshall Rosenberg's (1934–2015) nonviolent communication (NVC) is extremely effective in the feedback scene as well. Use the four elements — observation, feeling, need, request — as the structure of the side conveying the feedback.
State the fact, without evaluation
"In the revised version sent last week, the citation of the basis clause for X was missing." — Do not use evaluative words (sloppy, insufficient).
State one's feeling, in I-Message
"I felt that one more layer of verification was needed." — Without blaming the other, convey one's own sense.
Indicate the need behind it
"For the grounds of review to be traceable by other staff, the citation is necessary." — Share the reason why it is needed.
Close with a concrete request for action
"Could you, from next time, include the basis clause together?" — Close not with abstract comment but with an actionable request.
Rosenberg's four elements overlap with SBI while explicitly adding the layers of feeling and need. The essence of feedback is to disclose one's world to the other and close with a concrete request for action — this is the structure NVC shows.
05Kim Scott's "Radical Candor" — Care Personally × Challenge Directly
The former Google and Apple executive Kim Scott (1968–), in Radical Candor (2017), presented a powerful model organising feedback on two axes.
Care Personally
The posture of respecting the other as a single human being and wishing for long-term growth. Not "love," but an interest of comparable depth.
Challenge Directly
Saying what should be said, clearly, without going around in circles. Vagueness is often the largest unkindness.
"Radical Candor is established only in the region where both 'care personally' and 'challenge directly' are high. High care without challenge is 'Ruinous Empathy'; high challenge without care is 'Obnoxious Aggression'; both low is 'Manipulative Insincerity.'" — paraphrase of Kim Scott, Radical Candor (2017)
Kim Scott's contribution is to have placed "kindness" and "candour" not as opposing axes but as independent two axes. Kind feedback need not be vague. Candid feedback need not be cold. Holding both high at once is the meaning of Radical Candor.
On the pharmaceutical floor, "saying strict things for the other's sake" can become destructive, while "being vague out of concern" ends up obstructing the other's growth. Keep both care and challenge high — this is also the most difficult part of feedback.
06Coyle's "Magical Feedback" — Nineteen Words
The American writer Daniel Coyle (1960–), in The Culture Code (2018), introduced the research of educational psychologist Geoffrey Cohen. In that research, merely adding one sentence dramatically changed students' learning outcomes. Coyle called it "magical feedback."
"I'm giving you these comments because I have very high expectations and I know that you can reach them."
— from research by Cohen et al. (also reported in Yeager et al. 2014), introduced in Coyle's The Culture Code (2018).
What these nineteen words convey is two things. High expectation, and trust in reachability. Strictly evaluating the other's current state, while at the same time believing in the other's growth potential — this combination causes feedback to be received not as "attack" but as "investment."
On the pharmaceutical floor, adding to the top of a correction request a sentence to the effect of "I am making these comments because I have high expectations of the quality of your work, and I know that you can exceed them next time" — it may look formulaic, but the Cohen et al. research showed that this alone changes the recipient's improvement behaviour dramatically. The same content of feedback, with one sentence of context, holds an entirely different effect.
07Dweck's Growth Feedback — Praise the Process, Not the Trait
Touched on also in Vol. 4, Carol Dweck left an important finding on the "praising" side of feedback as well. "You are smart" (trait praise) and "you thought it through well" (process praise) have entirely different effects.
"When the trait is praised, the child moves with the motive of 'wanting to be seen as smart' and comes to avoid difficult tasks. When the process is praised, the child takes 'thinking through' as the motive and comes to take on difficult tasks." — paraphrase of Carol S. Dweck, Mindset (2006)
Dweck's finding brings the same structure into the "positive side" of feedback. "You are a careful reviewer" (trait) and "this time, you persistently verified this passage" (process) are received differently. The former becomes pride but fixates. The latter becomes a learning for next time. When praising, too, name the behaviour and the process — this is the discipline of feedback that promotes growth.
On the pharmaceutical floor, when praising good work by a junior or colleague, say not "you are excellent" but "this time, your tightening of the interpretation of clause X in three stages was good." Reference to the process raises the reproducibility of the behaviour.
08Shinran's "Sesshu Fusha (Embracing and Not Abandoning)" — The Fundamental Posture of Not Casting Off
From the Eastern lineage, the deepest foundational proposition for feedback. The posture of sesshu fusha (摂取不捨) shown by Shinran (1173–1262), the founder of Jōdo Shinshū. It is a teaching about how Amida Buddha treats sentient beings, but it can be applied to relations between human beings as well.
Sesshu fusha: embracing and not abandoning.
— The posture of receiving all and casting off no one. (A core proposition of Shinran, based on the Sūtra on Visualisation of the Buddha of Immeasurable Life.)
When giving feedback, we may unconsciously hold a gaze that casts off the other. "However many times I say it, this person does not change." "I cannot expect anything from this person." — The moment such a judgement is made, the quality of feedback and the way the other receives it change. Sesshu fusha is the posture of not giving up on the other's capability, of continuing to believe in the other's potential for growth. In Eastern words, it points to the same place as Coyle's "magical feedback."
On the pharmaceutical floor, continuing carefully to return feedback without casting off the other who repeats the same mistakes. That is not "indulgence" but investment in the other's long-term growth. The posture of sesshu fusha can be read as the Eastern resonance of Kim Scott's "care personally" and Coyle's "high expectations."
09Feedback Design on the Pharmaceutical Floor
Bring the abstract down to the floor. When the material reviewer sends out one correction request, how to combine this volume's wisdom?
Structure with SBI, not "just in case"
Not "please correct just in case," but "In last week's revision, the citation of clause X was missing (S+B), and as a result the grounds of review are in a state that other staff cannot follow (I)." — Organise with SBI.
You-Message → I-Message
Not "your instruction is unclear," but "I could not judge whether this correction request was intended as X or Y." — Start from I.
Add the contextualisation of "magical feedback"
Before strict comments, add a sentence: "I am saying this because I would like to do good work with your company next time as well." Not formality, but the conveyance of high expectation and trust in possibility.
Praise the process
For good work after correction, instead of "you are excellent," name the reproducible behaviour: "this time, your tightening of the interpretation of clause X in three stages was good."
10Four Disciplines for Turning Feedback into Words That Reach
To bring the same place to which seven traditions pointed down into daily practice, four disciplines.
Structure with SBI
Describe in the three layers of situation (S), behaviour (B), impact (I). Not evaluative words but observable facts and one's own subjective impact.
Start with I-Message
Begin not with "you are…" but "I felt…." Take not the other's character but one's own experience as the starting point. The smallest technique Gordon left.
Care personally × challenge directly (Kim Scott)
Treat kindness and candour not as opposing axes but as independent two axes. Hold both high. Vague kindness is unkindness; candour without kindness is attack.
Add the magical-feedback sentence
Before strict comments, add a sentence to the effect of "I am making these comments because of high expectations of you, and the trust that you can exceed them." The effect of the same content changes dramatically.
Feedback is not sensitivity; it is a skill. SBI, I-Message, NVC, Radical Candor, magical feedback, process-praise, sesshu fusha — seven traditions, in different words, pointed to the same place. "A correct comment that does not reach" is so because not the content but the form is lacking. Form can be designed consciously. Not innate talent but a discipline that can be trained.
"I said what should be said, and yet it does not change" — when one feels this, look back. Was SBI in place? Was it an I-Message? Were both care and challenge high? Did one add the sentence of high expectation and trust? Four questions change the quality of the next feedback.
- Feedback is a skill. Structure with SBI (situation, behaviour, impact), begin with I-Message, assemble with Rosenberg's four elements. Not innate talent but consciously trainable.
- Kim Scott's Radical Candor — kindness (care personally) and candour (challenge directly) are not opposing axes but independent two axes. Holding both high is the most difficult and the most valuable.
- Coyle's "magical feedback" — the sentence "I am making these comments because of high expectations of you, and the trust that you can exceed them." The effect of the same content of comment changes dramatically. Points, in different words, to the same place as Shinran's sesshu fusha.
- Center for Creative Leadership (CCL). Feedback That Works: How to Build and Deliver Your Message. Greensboro: CCL Press, 2000.
- Gordon, Thomas. Parent Effectiveness Training. New York: Wyden, 1970.
- Rosenberg, Marshall B. Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life. Encinitas: PuddleDancer Press, 1999.
- Scott, Kim. Radical Candor: Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity. New York: St. Martin's Press, 2017.
- Coyle, Daniel. The Culture Code: The Secrets of Highly Successful Groups. New York: Bantam, 2018.
- Yeager, David S., Purdie-Vaughns, Valerie, Garcia, Julio et al. "Breaking the Cycle of Mistrust: Wise Interventions to Provide Critical Feedback Across the Racial Divide." Journal of Experimental Psychology: General 143 (2), 2014, pp. 804–824.
- Dweck, Carol S. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. New York: Random House, 2006.
- Shinran, teaching of sesshu fusha (embracing and not abandoning), based on the Sūtra on Visualisation of the Buddha of Immeasurable Life. (Cf. Shinran, Kyōgyōshinshō, 1224.)